Easter Celebrations

braxton had his first easter hat parade today.

braxton gets super shy in a large group so preschool isn't his favourite thing to go to.

he has been going to 11 weeks now and it has not got easier.

he still gets so upset when i leave and it really breaks my heart walking away from him.

today was no different.

i took him to his group and it took a while to settle him down,

i really didn't think he would even come out to do their circle.

but he did :).

so so proud of this little guy.

he was so proud of his hat.

he got his colour inspiration from iron man - of course

and he chose the little chickens with glasses because of kaikai.

32 Hour Days

today has not been up there in my most favourite days of this week.

first of all the clock in the bathroom was TWENTY minutes behind.

so we got in the car (with what i thought was plenty of time),

but in reality we only have 20 mins to get to school on time.

we now live 30 mins away from school not including traffic.

getting three kids dressed, getting their teeth and hair brushed, shoes on, lunch's and bags packed, and throw in a quick 5 minute shower (IF YOUR LUCKY), breakfast eaten and a little playtime all in before you have to leave for school is almost impossible.

trying to find a balance since we have moved is really starting to prove tricky.

i don't feel like i get to spend time with brax or zay because when i get home my chores need to be done as well.

and instead of being proactive right now i've decided to sit here and blog how much this day has sucked, probably not the best proactive method i have come up with.

i don't know how school mum's do it,

with all the drop offs, grocery runs, lunch and dinner prep, extra curricular activities, exercising and then time to fit in some hobbies and time to ourselves.

i am extremely overwhelmed today by everything that needs to get done.

there are not enough hours in the day. 

wouldn't 32 hour days be great, 8 hours sleep and then 24 to get all the work done.

today i even swapped my exercise time to get the kids lunches and breakfast ready early so it was already to go.

that didn't seem to help at all.
when i sit down at night i look back over the day and think how did i get all that done.

any advice i will gladly take at this point to try and get some control back in my life.

Car Wash Time

the week of madness and moving finally came to an end.

which means activities with the boys are back on.

these perfect autumn days called for a car wash.

i don't think braxton has ever had a car wash experience before.

he loved it.

he wanted to keep putting more soap in the bucket and rinsing it off over and over again.

i taught him working at the car wash and we sung it off tune - even added a couple of dance moves in there.

his rinsing skills need some work because that boy wet me a WHOLE lot.

i think he did it on purpose after the first few "accidents".

i loved how he reached up right on his tippy toes to get all the suds off the roof.

i love spending some Q.T with this little guy during school hours.

Birthday Shing-Dig

first birthday party's are always so fun.

the mother puts in a ridiculous amount of effort

to have the birthday recipient not care one little bit about any of it except for the amount of lollies and juice they are actually allowed to consume on this day.

this year i decided to take a little pressure off myself when it came to the party.

zayden is the third of three boys,

so you can imagine how set he is in the toy, clothes and shoes department.

we did not need anymore especially with a move that was just around the corner.

so i asked people to either bring a sweet or savoury plate instead of a present.

my brother in law is super talented when it comes to the camera - he was born to take photos.

so naturally i traded a present for him to be behind a camera taking some pics. 

we just wanted family and friends to come and celebrate this milestone with us.

all that was up to me was decorations, drinks and to set-up.

it was so so great - i'm beginning to think why i didn't do it at a party sooner.

and did my little red head appreciate any of the effort that we put in.

not at all - he was super grumpy on his big day.

he didn't even enjoy the smash cake that i organised especially for him.

he wouldn't eat it unless he had a spoon - defeated the purpose of a smash cake.

there was also a piñata that refused to be smashed apart - it was that strongest $12 piñata that could definitely hold its own.

we had to resort to opening it ourselves and throwing lollies for the kids to gather.

i love it when all the cousins get together, 

no matter how long it's been - they always pick up where they last left off.

i still cannot believe my little guy is one and that this was most (definitely) probably my last first birthday ever to celebrate.

Our First Home

this week has been a toughy.

we began packing up what has been our lives for the last two years and a half years.

leaving this house was superbly hard.

it was our first family home.

there have been so many memories made within its' walls.

that's the house we bought zayden home to,

zayden took his first steps,

makai began kindergarten in this house,

braxton learned how to climb up the fly screen.
there were an enormous amount of water fights,
s'more making, bbq cooking, fort making, vomit cleaning, room changing and some more room changes.

the house witnessed many arguments, many tears but a whole bucket load of laughs and giggles.

the people we entered that house in,

were not the people we left the house.

we grew so much as individuals, as a couple and as a family.

i will miss this home so very much.

the end of a chapter for this little family.

but onto brighter and better things.

the one thing i'm glad of is that i'll always have my four boys by my side,

no matter where our journey leads us.

A Day To Be

these last couple of decision making weeks have put me in a whirlwind cycle emotionally.

on sunday night i had hit a brick wall.

so yesterday morning i woke up and decided that i was going to get in the car with the kids and do some exploring, forget about all the decision i have to make, take some photos, get my feet wet and sandy, and just enjoy being me for a day.

i have a bucket list that i keep on my phone,

so i picked one thing that was on it and started from there.

we had a picnic at Macquarie Lighthouse,

and we then stumbled upon Parsley Bay.

this place was beautiful - it was perfectly what i needed.

no thinking about what we should do - move in, rent or buy?

no thinking about cancelling all the accounts or getting quotes for storage.

it was a day to be grateful for what i have and a day just to be happy.

Can We Swap?

sometimes i really miss being a kid.

everything is so black and white.

you seem to think your parents know everything and you know they will always take care of you.

you don't have to make any important decisions.

everything seems to just "work out."

but you then become an adult yourself and realise that in life their are a many shades of grey.

so many that it can just become so overwhelming.

you have to make important decisions that impact not only you life but your children's lives.

you realise that parenting is a hit and miss kind of game.

i would trade my kids any day to be care free again.

life is full of surprises - both good and bad.

some are more challenging then others and require a lot of attention and faith.

some decisions you make run smoothly but others you think "what on earth did i do?"

but i guess that's how we learn and grow,

that makes the difference of who we were and who we are now.

each choice has a consequence which sometimes really sucks.

some decisions we are forced to make much sooner than we want to,

but i have been told that it all happens for a reason.

it's really hard to keep faith when you just don't understand or you can't really find an answer.

jevan and i have to move unexpectedly and it's proving to be a really hard decision of what our next move is, where we should go, do i keep makai in school or move him closer to where we will go?

i can't even begin to describe the emotions i have been going through.

i'm not an emotional person - my husband will attest to that,

but since finding this out i have been all over the place.

through my eyes it's terrible timing and i am really finding it hard to see positives,

but i really hope that in 6 month a year,

 2 or 4 years to come i will look back on this situation and go wow i get it now, 

i'm so glad that happened to us.

i look at my kids and think you guys are so lucky you don't care where we go or where we live,

you are just happy if there is food on the table, toys to play with and a bed to sleep on.

oh how i wish to be a kid again,

this adult stuff is overrated.