A Tender Moment

so i had a pretty crappy day today.

it probably had everything to do with the bad mood i woke up in.

sometimes the day seems to feel so overwhelming,

that i have no idea how i will get everything done.

then there's the mother guilt that i'm not spending enough time with the boys.

and then that's not mentioning the laundry, the grocery shopping and all of that stuff that "has to be done."

i really don't know how all you mothers out there cope,

i think you need to give me some tips in organising my day.

with two kids i could complete everything but then throw another baby into the mix 

and i'm all over the place.

but my day wasn't all bad.

i was sitting in the bathroom watching zay while he was in the bath.

and then makai came in and threw his arms around me,

he gave me the biggest makai hug ever.

(if you have experienced one of these you'll know what i'm talking about)

he then told me he loves me so much.

he is such a sweet and tender boy,

he is so sincere in what he says and doesn't tell you something he doesn't mean.

i'm so grateful that he chose me to be his mum,

he must have seen something in me that i didn't.

today in that moment he gave me the courage to keep moving forward.

he is my joy in this journey.

Still Of The Night

before i gave birth to zayden i had made a choice to really enjoy him.

inclusive of waking up at all hours of the night for feeds.

i love this time with him,

yes i am completely exhausted during the day keeping the two boys entertained

but, the night time feeding is where i get to spend one on one time with zayzay.

their are no cars on the road, the neighbourhood is quiet, everyone else is asleep,

as i feed him he gazes out at the night sky.

he loves the moon and stars as they light his dark still room.

i sing to him "you are my sunshine,"

he looks at me and i just can't help but think at the journey he is about to embark on,

how quickly he will grow into a boy that won't wake up for these precious moments we share.

the tiredness, the lack of energy, the dark circles under my eyes are completely worth these precious moments that i get to share with my baby boy.

people think i am to young to have one child let alone three, but i don't feel like i have missed out on anything in my life as a young mum.

i feel so rich in more ways, i feel so loved, i feel complete, i feel like this is the one thing i was made for and that (sometimes) i am good at.

i'm so grateful to have not only one but three beautiful boys who call me their mumma.

Zayden Skye Ormsby

i thought it was time to share our little zayzay with the blogging world.

this was by far my best experience in labour,

 (i know, it's kinda freaking me out that i can say that and so soon after).

i woke up with no intentions of giving birth on the monday, 

but by 5pm that night i was beginning to have contractions.

i'm not going to lie i really wanted that epidural, so with that in mind i told jevan that we needed to leave for the hospital at 6:00pm.

we headed on down to Hornsby Hospital and arrived at 6:20pm.

we met my midwife downstairs and walked to the birthing unit.

i have always wanted a water birth since makai but because of complications due to birth weight i have never been able to have one.

but this pregnancy was completely normal, so my midwife ran my bath which took 20 minutes to fill.

i hoped in, by now my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and lasting for a minute long.

i got the gas - boy that rattling is a good distraction.

i started to push at 7:00pm, on the first push my waters broke and by the second push at 7:05pm we welcomed our little boy into this world.
 and of course the moment i laid my eyes on him, i fell incredibly in love.

Zayden Skye Ormsby
24.02.2014 | 7:05pm
3.38 kg | 51cm long

39+6

on my 39 week + 6 days of pregnancy,

i went for a walk, dropped kaikai off to pre-school,  did the washing, went to spotlight, did the grocery shopping, watched and played ninja turtles with bracky, had a nap, made almond milk and almond flour, painted with bracky, awaited jevans CA results, skyped into see my nephew open up his mission call, made dinner, cleaned the bathroom and kitchen, bathed and put the kiddies to bed.

and still NO baby. 

as a mother you sometimes feel that you "dont do enough" but as you think about everything (even the little things) we do so so SO much.

to each and every mother out there, you are SUPER WOMEN !

i have really loved being able to spend time with bracky boy, while kaikai is at pre-school.

he is such a character.

this would be my photo of the day.

i love his concentration face, especially those lips.

Little Gardener

it's so funny how different my two boys are.

one is obsessed with cars and anything even remotely related to transport,

while the other is a happy gardener and cook.

there is three things braxton is OBSESSED with:

1. Lawn Mowers

2. Wipper Snippers

3. Leaf Blowers

and when i say obsessed i mean to the point that he has to go to sleep with it RIGHT next to his bed and he will not go to sleep until it is within reaching distance.

i really hope that this continues until his teens and he will happily do our gardening for us :).

you can tell, he takes his lawn mowing very seriously.

Green on Green

makai is now at that lovely stage in his life where he likes to choose his own clothes.

and those that really know me will know how I am feeling about this - especially my sister.

i have a little OCD when it comes to dressing my boys and matching colours, ya know if I'm going to have all boys they will at least be nicely dressed (for the most part).

so makai and I have come to some sort of an arrangement to make both parties happy.

he has free range on preschool days and I have the other 5 days of the week - I think it's a pretty fair comprise ;).

this mornings outfit was completely inspired by hi a favourite colour - Green On Green.

braxton has also joined in on this comprise, apparently.

The Year Passed

as the new year approaches, i have found time to reflect on the year that has just passed.

if i could sum up this year in one word it would be Hard.

it was one of the most challenging years i have faced.

mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

there were times where i thought i cannot do this anymore.

jevan has chosen the profession of auditing which takes him away from the home for 6 months of the year, add full time study and a time consuming calling on top of that and you have a husband that spends the minority of his time at home.

i had to adjust alot to these changes which in the beginning i struggled with, but with help i was able to work through these.

makai went through times of struggle where i sometimes would sit on my bed and with tears in my eyes and pray that i would be able to have the patience for him.

my own spiritual well-being took a beating for months and months which was so draining.

this year was not the relaxing year i had hoped for but because of all these trials and challenges i learnt so much about myself, i learnt what i can really do, who i have faith in and now looking back i am glad that i didn't have a relaxing year, i'm glad it was filled with challenging moments that were there for a time and season because without those moments i wouldn't have been grateful for the amazing sweet and tender moments i got along to way.

makai overcame so much at the end of this year, i am so proud of him and his quiet achievements.

i'm so grateful for the people that were put in his life throughout this year.

braxton may just be hitting the terrible two's in this last week but he has been a delight for the majority of the year, his own little personality really started to shine this year.

jevan has never worked so hard since i've met him, he is such a great example to me and the best husband and father i could have ever hoped for. together this year we have really learnt the true meaning of marriage.

as i sit here and think of the new year i cannot even imagine what is in store for me on my journey but i know it will be for my benefit - even if i may not like it.

He Is My Sunshine

today i got to watch makai at his first christmas concert.

i can't begin to write how proud i was of him.

makai gets really anxious and on the drive to the concert i could see his anxiety starting to get the better of him.

he kept saying "you will come with me mum and stand with me"

i was abit apprehensive on how he would go, if he would even stand up on stage and sing at all.

i walked him to his teacher and pretty much pushed him in the room they were getting ready in before he had time to turn around and run away.

i was nervous for him at this point.

but the curtains opened and there he was my big brave 3 year old standing right on the front row.

the music started and he was set.

singing and doing the actions he had overcome his fear and that could not have made me prouder.

my most favourite song of the day was when he sung "You Are My Sunshine."

the past month he would come home from pre-school and sing that song to me every afternoon while i cooked dinner.

these are the little memories that will last in my heart for a lifetime.

and yes of course, i cried - pregnancy hormones.

brothers

to be a mother is a special thing.

what i love most about being a mother is the opportunity i get to watch their individual personalities and their spirits grow and shine.

i am always amazed that these two boys were created by the same two people but yet are so different.

makai is reserved at times and will assess all possible risks in situations that are presented to him.

braxton has absolutely no fear and no worries that he will just dive into everything.

makai is sweet and tender but can be very challenging and strong headed.

braxton answers to noone but himself but if he is without his "ted" will cry until he gets him.

i could never compare these two little boys, they both bring a unique and special attribute to our family which we love, adore and couldn't be without.

i always wonder if they were best friends in the pre-existence and wanted to come down to this earth as brothers, i know they will always look out for one another and will share a deep love, connection and bond with one another.

i get the privilege to be apart of that and watch that special bond grow.

i cannot wait for their baby brother to come to this earth.

i bet he has been missing them while they have been gone and he has been itching to be with them again.

Family Date 10.

so you know that goal i had in january to have a family date every month where we actually go out and do something, yeh we were doing awesome until that darn october month came around.

so we were back this month keeping the goal alive.

only skipping one month isn't the end of the world, right?!

in sydney we have been blessed with amazing spring weather.

it's total beach weather.

of course, we had to take advantage of the 36 degree saturday yesterday and we headed to one of joovy and my all time favourite beach, Manly (for total sentimental reasons).

we decided to get breakfast there and then have a dip in the beach or "sea" as makai likes to call it.

i LOVE going to cafes and getting breakfast, it's one of my all time favourite dates to do.

but being a mum with boys the mornings sometimes can be ridiculous to make it out of the house without pulling my hair out so we made it a brunch date instead of an early morning breakfast.

what i love most about going to breakfast with joovy is that he is my total opposite.

he hates tomato's, mushrooms anything green and i LOVE it.

where i'm not a massive bread eater and it's in his blood to live on bread - he's a total maori.

we are complete opposites but we "compliment eachother" as joovy likes to say.

kids are easily pleased makai loves pancakes and brax loves eggs - not just any eggs they have to be fried eggs.

Never Say Never

when i was a teenager and i would think about raising my children,

i said i would NEVER EVER listen to any type of children's music in the car.

especially THE WIGGLES.

i am here typing before you today to admit,

i just downloaded a whole bunch of wiggles music for my kids to listen to in the car.

here are my two reasonings for this event

a - it keeps them super entertained whilst in the car

b - the smiles that light up their faces when they get to listen to the wiggles is absolutely priceless

kids have a funny way of making you swallow your words.

The Boys + I

with finding out a couple months ago that we were expecting our third and final installation was a boy,

i thought a blog name change was due.

i'm always finding myself saying or writing in my posts "the boys and i" and i thought why not embrace the fact that i'm the only girl in the household and name my blog "The Boys + I"
it sums up my family pretty perfectly.

 

here's a couple of pics of the boys + i.

we went a little crazy testing out the tripod.

(no judgements on the make up-less face)

My Batman and Robin

i love the fact that halloween is becoming bigger and bigger here in australia,

i'll take any excuse to dress the boys up really.

from the beginning of the year i knew i wanted them to go as batman and robin.

thankfully they are too young to really have a say in what they go as ;), maybe next year i'll let them choose.

however they do absolutely love dressing up as superhero's at the moment so it was a win win really.

i love pinterest, a little to much.

it's probably one of my most used apps on my phone.

so of course that was my main source for research.

i found adorable and super cheap diy costumes.

i literally spent $5 each for both of the boys costumes.

i think they turned out ok, even if i might have made up my own instructions - i do that often lol i get a tad impatient.

this was the only pic i got of the back of their caps.

Mum Mumma Mother

 these two crazy boys can make me pull my hair out one moment and then have me in laughter the next.

i think that's what motherhood is all about.

it's super hard.

but you get these moments of clarity and you can see all the hard work that you put in, is paying off.

to me, the simple manners that come out of my boys mouth (without the reminding) makes me smile and i feel like "oh you actually are listening to me."

we only have them for such a short time and sometimes i find myself wishing the bad days to just be over but instead i should be finding good in everyday.

ok sometimes there is barely any good in a day but i still love their craziness.

i am so proud to call them my sons and i hope they are proud to call me their mum.

i cannot wait to meet the next handsome that will join our family.

hurry up february.

What Shall It Be?

this week is a pretty exciting week in the ormsby household.

we get to find out what this little person is going to be and i turn 21 for the 3rd time ;).

what do you think it will be?

a he or a she?

daddy is guessing a boy

mummy is guessing a boy

kaikai is guessing a girl

brax is on the fence.

Family Date 9

this family date is probably one of my favourites this year.

we got to tick off some things on the boys list that they have been dying to do but we couldn't because of the price.

for as long as i can remember makai has been begging to go on a "ferry boat" like not just any ones the green and yellow ones that travel between the city and manly.

this month we based our whole day around things the boys have been really wanting to do or see or eat.

the day went as followed -

*drove to the city (we get to park at jevan's work now and it's awesome because it's FREE-yay)

*we hit up the rocks markets and scored ourselves a egg & bacon roll, i have to admit this was purely on my wish list the boys didn't care.

*we headed to wharf 3 at circular quay and caught a long awaited ferry ride straight to manly wharf.

*these boys are the biggest chip lovers (including the biggest one) and what better place to have chips than right at the beach.

* sharks, stingrays, turtles, penguins and jellyfish were a big hit with these two boys at the Manly Sea Life Sanctuary.

*to finish off any good family date we had to have ice-cream and milkshakes - braxton looks like he is a milkshake-a-holic in this photo, we really need to get him help with that problem ;).

Mrs Ormsby

when you get engaged all you think about is planning the wedding.

then once that is all over life will just fall into place and live happily ever after, right ?!

WRONG.

i've learnt that life always have something different in store for us.

when jevan and i got married i thought of all the time i'll get to spend with him, we will have kids and spend all weekend doing amazing family dates with one another, we would be able to go on couple dates regularly, ya know things like that.

i can't lie this year has seen alot of change in our family and some have been tough.

some expected, some we did not see coming in a million years.

we moved out into our first family home, jevan started a full-time job after completing 3 years at uni, jevan then began his full-time chartered accounting course, i fell pregnant and had ridiculous morning sickness and jevan got a new calling at church which takes him away from the home alot.

sometimes i find it really really difficult to deal with what life hands out.

all i can say is my happily ever after mindset has been replaced by reality.

when i see families all going out on the weekends, when makai asks why can't daddy play with us today i have to say to myself "this will all be worth it in the end."

i don't want people to think that i'm complaining because i'm not, i just want people to know that it's ok to be overwhelmed by it all and it's ok to feel like it's all to hard.

i am like super hormonal right now, this baby have turned me into a crying machine - and if you know me very well you know that i hate crying in front of people.

so i have spent alot of time crying this past month and honestly sometimes i don't even know why.

life is just hard sometimes - all those women who can manage all this and not complain hi-5 to you guys, you need to tell me your secrets because sometimes it just consumes me and becomes all abit to much and you guessed it - i cry.

i guess the key is finding joy in the journey.

When Daddy's Away

when daddy's away,

superhero's come out to play.

i'm loving kai-kai's age at the moment, he's into everything.

particularly, dressing up.

jevan is away for the next two weeks in melbourne.

because kai-kai is starting to realize that his dad is not home very often and asks where he is all the time, i have decided this week to keep very focussed on the kids and activities that will keep them pre-occupied until their dad comes home.

we played superhero's and pirates.

kai-kai's imagination was in full swing.

he was pretending that the grass was water and the outside play gym was his ship.

it was being hit with canons and set on fire. 

we had sword fights and there was alot of flying around the backyard,

because after all there are always superhero's taking on pirates.

Our First Meet

i thought after i had my first child i wouldn't have the same excitement when the rest of the tribe would follow.

what a silly thought.

i was so very wrong.

today i had my 12 week scan for baby number 3,

 i was ridiculously excited to see this new little baby growing in me for the very first time.

it's hard to think your actually pregnant when you can't yet feel the baby.

and when you get to see them you think, oh i really am pregnant.

everything looked good - apart from the fact that it is measuring 5 days bigger than it should (it's always the complete opposite for me).

there is something so special about being able to look at your little baby and to think that they chose to come to you out of all the people, they chose you.

Announcing...

it's been a long 5 weeks not being able to blog about this.

i have had urges but i have waited until our announcement picture was all done.

we are excited to announce the we will be growing to a family of 5 with baby #3 awaiting it's arrival in
february 2014.

these last 5 weeks have been a roller coaster ride full of morning sickness, lack of energy, sleepy eyes (straight after waking up in the morning) and the biggest thing missing all the foods that i love.

each child i have carried has been different, but this one has been the hardest and feels like an eternity.

i have never had nausea straight from week 5, i have never not been able to eat the foods i love, i have never lacked energy quite like this before.

but in saying that, when those 2 lines came up i was so - i dont even think excited covered my emotions, i think it was more close to ecstatic. 

it was an emotional journey to this point, this child is the only one that we have tried for and it took 5 months (it seemed much much longer to me) to fall pregnant. the other 2 lads only took a month because surprise surprise they just came along without my knowledge ; ).

having taken so many tests with the result of negative being the common result, the last test i took with a very level head saying to myself "it's ok if your not, just give it a go."

i closed my eyes then re-opened them to see a second line appearing rapidly.

my eyes were full of tears and i literally wanted to do a fist pump while jumping in the air.

i found this picture on pinterest once and knew that's how i wanted to tell jevan the next time i fell pregnant, and that's exactly what i did. while he was at work because i could not wait to tell him.

the excitement came to a crashing holt when a week later nausea set in, my 6:30am walks ceased because i was super tired, i could no longer drink my carrot and apples juice daily, vegetables made me want to hurl, my hormones were all over the place and i was crying one minute and then screaming the next. i did promise myself whilst we were unsuccessful those months before that i would really enjoy this pregnancy and not wish it to fly by so this week i have been not only counting down the weeks until all this goes away but i have been enjoying this journey because quite seriously if this bambino is boy # 3 this mumma will be done. 

makai is so excited to help he tells me he is going to feed it and give it baths and play buzz lightyear with it, i'm excited for him and braxton, they are going to make the best big brothers : ).

on another sad note - i'm already feeling super super SUPER bloated and for someone who never shows until after 19 weeks this is a different feeling, still undecided whether i like it.