Mormony Post

this year i set a personal goal to try and be better.

be better at church stuff,

and being better at just being who i truly want to be.

i have started doing a couple of things that i really should have been doing yonks ago.

the basic mormon stuff.

scriptures everyday during the school week and prayer.

i really suck at praying - not going to even try and lie.

i need to do way better at that.

at night

 (apart from this week because once the kids go to bed and i hit the lounge pillows i'm out)

i am better but in the mornings

HOPELESS !

i really have notice a difference in myself and how i deal with situations that arise

since i have been doing these things.

i have also noticed a lot more things that would normally really really frustrate me 

or agitate me haven't been doing it 

- as much.

or i can deal with it in a day rather than weeks lol.

i always think to myself i want to do better then one week in something has annoyed me

 and i'm all what is even the point.

blah blah blah.

so when my dad's brain tumour happened i was waiting for myself to go on

 how life's not fair and why do bad things always happened to me.
(i am that person that throws in the towel at the first site of something bad happening.)

but i decided not to.

i put all my faith in heavenly father.

and i can't even tell how how hard it was.

there was much pleading going on with my heavenly father in prayer and fasting.

i have never felt the peace as i did the day my dad had a blessing and just knew everything was going to be alright.

this gave me courage not to fear and know that this wasn't the end.

i am not one to ever bear my testimony

(unless i have to talk in sacrament)

but i do know that heavenly father loves me 

and that he is real.

reading the scriptures have bought such peace into my life

(i'm still working on the knowledge part.)

i really love most of all is that no matter how many times i have failed or complained or given up,

i am still allowed the opportunity to start over and try again.

i am grateful that heavenly father is waiting there each time to help me grow that little bit extra.