Halloween

i was pretty excited about the boys halloween costumes this year.

i knew what i wanted them to be since last halloween.

makai took a little convincing, he was pretty set on spiderman.

1 - it looked a little tricky for me to do

2 - i really had my heart set on them going as the avengers minus thor.

so they went as captain america, ironman and the hulk.

don't you love how all you want is just one nice photo of all of them together in their costumes.

do you think i get any - nup.

they had different plans.

oh well - maybe next year (i think i've been saying that for the last 3 years).

our church had a trunk or treat at night.

it was awesome, the boys loved it.

they got a whole bunch of lollies and got to play with their friends after,

 without me freaking out where they were.

each year our halloween celebrations get better and better.

Roadtrippin'

last friday we took a road trip down to kiama.

we were celebrating our last day with joovy before he starts his new job and the long days begin again.

the south coast is my absolute favourite.

the beaches there are beautiful.

the towns are old school.

we sat and ate fish and chips by the marina.
the boys did some rock climbing, we walked up to the blow hole - this was a huge hit with the boys they thought it was the best thing - after we got blasted by the wind we walked back to the main street to finish off our family trip with some ice cream.
oh wow, this was THE best ice cream parlour.
they had the craziest variety of flavours - it was so hard to choose just one so naturally i got a two scoop.
the kids loved it.
as we packed up the car and got started on our way,
i heard a little voice behind me saying i vomit mum.
all that i had to clean it was a sock.
i turned to wipe the vomit away - think braxton had already vomited.
but what he really meant was i NEED to vomit mum.
he vomited everywhere,
it was so so gross.
needless to say it was a smelly and very emotional ride home.
and all good family dates accompany i bazillion photos but don't worry i only chose 6 to post.

A Lesson Learnt

let me tell you about today.

it was makai's first primary presentation.

i had this vision in my head of how today would go.

we would get their arrive early, he would walk reverently and sit on the stand,

he would sing proudly the songs that he has learnt, when his time came he would go to the microphone and repeat the sentence he has memorised and then sit back down reverently.

this could not be further from what happened.

we got there late, i had to pry him off his grandmother to take him to the stand, he wouldn't sit still, he turned around and started pretending to shoot people, he mimicked the chorister, their was no reverence, when it came to his turn to speak he refused to get up, when he eventually got up to the stand he head butted the microphone, stuck his tongue out and then said his line.

oh boy, it's always funny when it's not your kid doing it.

he was seriously crazy.

i have to be honest and say i wasn't really impressed with it at all.

i wanted to go up on that stand and take him down.

i wasn't proud, i was embarrassed that the crazy kid that couldn't sit still was my kid.

and then someone made a comment to me which changed my whole attitude.

a man from my ward walked past me and said

did you see makai after he had said his part, 

his eyes locked straight to you for you to give your approval on how he did.

my heart broke.

it didn't matter how irreverent he was being, it didn't matter that it took him until the end of the program to say his line.

it only mattered that he said it and that he sung all the parts of the songs that he knew.

in that moment i learnt that they will do things their own way and in their own time but they will always know that their mum is the most proudest person of them in whatever they do.

i am so grateful for makai and for the blessing he is in my life.

i know that he chose me to be his mum for a reason, he believed that i could guide him on the path back to his eternal home.

i have to admit i haven't done a great job at that so far, 

he has coped most of the brunt of my failures as i have come to learn what works best in raising children.

he is here to teach me patience, that's one thing i have said since he was a toddler.

this lesson will stay in  my heart forever.

and when my boys look at me for approval they will see a big smile on my face to let them know they are doing great.

Thousand Words

i love that taking photos is so easily accomplished now.

because I always have my iPhone or camera super close by I get to capture some hilarious moments.

my favourite one today is this doozy.

zayden's face kills me.

the poor kid had to sit and watch his brother eat a cookie while his mum was putting peaches in his mouth.

A New Tradition

after general conference yesterday we decided to go for a picnic.

we originally were heading out to the beach but considering how long it would take us to get there and then walk once we found a park we were trying to think of somewhere else we could go that was more local, we were driving through north rocks and we thought why not the temple.

it was perfect day and we had the temple grounds all to ourself.

the kids loved it which made for a fantastic family date.

it was so great we have started a new tradition.

after we attend general conference we are going to have a picnic at the temple.

how grateful i am for family traditions.

they build memories that last a lifetime and more.

they strengthen our relationships as a family unit.

zayden has been a slight grump these last few days and just these couple of hours we spent together gave me that extra oomph i needed to be able to endure this weeks trials.

this was our failed family photo attempt, it was hilarious.

Moments Captured

because this photo is just so dang cute,

it deserves it's very own blog post.

being a mother is sweet.

Troublesome Threes

braxton is turning three in 4 and abit weeks.

but his attitude has already hit it.

i always prepared myself for the terrible two's (which start at 18 months now)

but nobody told me about threes.

twos i can handle but threes - wowzas.

braxton has always been my wild child ever since he was born.

he does what he wants only when he wants to.

he will blatantly (no idea if i spelt that right) disobey you or ignore you if he doesn't want to do it,

and he is unapologetic about it.

he literally does his own thing, he doesn't even care if noone else wants to do it.

his thing is "i don't care i'll play by myself if you don't want to"

joovy's favourite comment to make

"oh wow i wonder where he gets it all from"

- me.

yep, i can't lie. all me.

my mum always told me "you'll get one like yourself one day"

psch what do mothers know?

oh boy, she was right.

we mirror each other's personality.

you can take toys away from him, dvd's away from him, park time away from him, send him to time-out, send him to his bed - he literally does not care.

he is always going to be the one to give me grey hairs when it comes to girls.

i was at the beach with him the other day and he started walking off,

following 2 girls in bikini's.

what two year old does that?

so wish me luck blogging world.

i'm about to feel a whole lot of gratitude for my parents raising me when i was three and not giving up.

A Daughter Of God

yesterday i went to the general womens broadcast.

it was so uplifting to go.

i do have a little confession though, i did not want to go.

i'm that kind of person that will make any little excuse not to go.

it's solely because i'm lazy.

i'm grateful for a husband and friends that encourage me to go.

especially for a husband because i was in such a bad mood an hour leading up to it,

the kids had been crazy all day, zayden is teething so he is like a grinch at christmas right now, my hair was super super gross, i didn't get to jump in the shower until 5:30 and it started at 6.

basically i was finding any little thing that was going wrong and MAGNIFIED it.

jevan simply said, you don't have to go, it's up to you but i know you will feel better if you go.

so along i went.

i have been enduring a personal struggle for the last couple of months.
i have been struggling with my worth on this earth.

i have had thoughts does heavenly father really know me personally?

does he know what i am struggling with, is he even helping me?

i have even felt sometimes that i don't have a plan set out for me but i am just here to fill a body.

president utchdorf gave a talk that i guess was the sole reason i was meant to go and listen to.

i wrote some things down that stuck out to me.

i write these to help those of you out there that are having this same kind of struggle or the same thoughts.

• you are always a child of god
• he knows what's best for you but he wants you to choose what you thinks best for you
• heavenly father is raining blessings down but our doubt acts like an umbrella which stops the blessings from reaching us
• you are loved by your heavenly parents
• he knows the time you held onto the fading light and still believed
• he knows the times you've fallen short and he still loves you
• he knows when you help others with their burdens even though your struggling with your own
• do you think our looks or dress size change your worth to him?
• he knows the potential and desires you to become more than you can imagine
• he wants you to return to your heavenly home with honour
• as you live the gospel joyfully you will discover your best self - your real self.

how inspired it was for my friend to ask me if i was coming to this broadcast.

how inspired it was for joovy to encourage me to go right up until the last minute.

i'm so grateful i went to hear these words that my spirit needed to hear.
i know i have a father in heaven who loves me.
he knows my trials, he know my struggles, he knows my failures but he still loves me.

you are all beloved children of a heavenly father.