New Year, New Resolution

as every new year begins jevan and i sit down and set goals.

we set them for ourselves, our children and our family.

since late teenage-hood to even today i have struggled with my body image, my weight, my facial hair, my breakouts, my thighs and butt really just hate me.

and for this reason and this reason alone i do not own a pair of scales.

i cannot jump onto a pair of scales because if i am over my ideal number i will pull back on what i am eating, by no means is this ok.

i should be happy with myself and what i look like.

i can't look at magazines because photoshop does wonders and the people in there look AMAZING.

i know that it's not real because of all the airbrushing that goes on.

but it still doesn't help mentally how i feel or think about myself.

i don't know why the media can't embrace women's natural figures and even cellulite.

it would help us non-celebrity folk to feel that we are doing ok.

jevan tells me how beautiful i look everyday - even when i just want to crawl up in a ball because im having a "fat" day.

so this year my goal is to be happy with my self and my body.

i want to be happy with who i am and what i look like.

be able to wear whatever i feel like and feel confident in what i am wearing.

i don't write this for sympathy or for the "but you look great" comments.

i write this simply to let other women that put this pressure on themselves that you are beautiful and hi-5 to cellulite and curvaceous figures, we are healthy and that is all that matters.