My Kai-Kai

today was emotional.

this morning i went to see makai's teacher about his progress this year,

i got back what i wasn't expecting to hear.

that he hasn't really progressed this year academically.

but she did quote "if there was a test for trying their best all the time and always having positive attitude and giving things a go, Makai would score top marks."

this poor boy who gives you his all and will do anything he is asked,

has some kind of learning difficulty that noone can name.

that in itself is frustrating.

i feel like if they gave me a name i could research to get more knowledge about it,

what causes it, how to help him best learn and understand what is being taught.

i would just love to tell people when they ask,

yeh, makai has this.

instead of going ahhhh he's got something we don't know what yet 

but he struggles with this, this and this.

i then called his ot teacher to get a progress report on makai,

she told me she has given up with his pencil grip and 

she can't help him for what he's struggling with in class.

makai has been so so blessed with the teachers he has been given in school.

when i have spoken to him i have always felt that they have really gotten to know him,

i felt like they see the good in makai rather than his failures.

but then you have his ot who might mean very well,

makes me feel like makai is a hassle 

and that he goes out of his way to not listen or to not complete work.

his teachers have all told me how much of a hard worker he is 

and how he always works to the best of HIS abilities and that's all they can ask for.

i am so so SO glad how heavenly father has blessed makai with people in his everyday life(not once a week) that can see his strengths.

they overlook his weaknesses and

 they try to support him in every way they can to get him to that finish line.

but what i love most about them is they don't make him conform,

they know that he's an individual.

what works for the rest of the class may not work for makai

and they try to think of support strategies to help him understand the work that's being taught.

noone wants to hear that your child is struggling or that they are slower and under-average.

you feel like you've failed them in life.

i think maybe i should have read to him more and discussed books?

maybe i shouldn't of sent him the year early.

but then i think this is makai,

this is who he is.

maybe this is one of his earthly struggles that he will have to work at everyday.

i just never want him to think he's dumb because he is so far from it.

he excels in other areas he just needs to find out what they are.

this boy just makes me want to be better all the time.

i'll forever love and admire my kai-kai.