Values And Change

this year some of my core values have been challenged through experiences i have had to face.

they have helped me change the way i view things that use to be important to me,

i have also learnt how to better deal when faced with struggles and challengers.

this year i feel like i have been stretched, prodded and poked at.

there have been some extremely dark days that rolled onto each other.

but there have been moments of clarity followed by "uh-huh" moments

 that i wish i had like 10 years ago.

i view things very differently.

the things in life i valued highly are now not quite as high as they use to be.

how people treat me and my family has been extremely tested this year.

i always thought that if you are nice to people and 

go out of your way to do things that they will like you.

but now i know how naive that statement is.

there are some people in life that will just not treat you how you treat them.

there is nothing we can do about that.

we can only control ourselves.

i have the power to have those individuals in my life "hoping" 

that maybe just one day we will build a relationship.

or i have the power to let it go.

someone once counselled me to stop living in my fantasy world of having this perfect life

and at the time it really took me by surprise but they were right.

it's time for me to accept reality and re-adjust my values and what is most important to me.

it's not worth getting upset over individuals because they won't accept me 

(for reasons unknown sometimes)

and then going and taking it out on my husband or children.

i have decided that i will only have those people that value my friendship be apart of my life.

life is already too hard as it is without the stress of trying to have people accept me.

some of you reading this might think i'm silly because this type of stuff doesn't bother you.

but this is one of my HUGE things that i struggle with.

family and friends and being accepted have always been high up on my values and wants in life.

i am learning slowly that just because we may have grown up with each other, or have the same last name or the same family members or you know my parents well or our kids are in the same class,

(i'm being broad - don't read into these examples to much lol)

doesn't mean we will have a relationship.

i want to share my friendship with those people in my life that value it 

and that want to have a friendship back with me.

when i grew up all i wanted for my children was for them to have lots of people around them.

whether that was family or friends.

but now i look at it and it's not about the quantity but more the quality.

they could have thousands of friends and family that don't care about them and won't be there for them when they need it.

but they could have only 6 people around them that truly care about and for them,

and when they need them that they will be there to listen and to guide them.

because one day (probably soon) they will stop listening to their parents

and i want to have them surrounded with those people that care most about them.

and if i want that for them why would i not want that for myself.